Can't Love Me
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: "Hey Matt I'm back." he called softly and was hardly surprised at the lack of response, there never was one anymore.- Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note. *doubt I'd be writing fanfiction if I did*

**AN: **I suggest listening to the song as you read this, as it was on repeat as I wrote and really was... well it worked I thought... XD

**Suggested Listening:** Can't Love Me by I'm Alive _(a relatively new band and sort of hard to find stuff for)_

~Begin~

Mello had just gotten his grocery shopping done but left most of the bags in the car with the exception of a few small items. He smiled slightly at whomever passed him in the hallways as he walked to the correct room.

There was no need for a key, or to knock. He simply pushed the door open and spotted the redhead inside immediately. "Hey Matt I'm back." he called softly and was hardly surprised at the lack of response, there never was one anymore.

He set his things on the table, which was located a few feet from the door, and pulled out the only other chair in the room to sit on. It was a small place, a one roomed hellhole, with space enough only for a bed in the corner and the small table and chair set that was beside the door. That and the tiny television off to the side where an Xbox lay ignored.

Mello hated that place. Hated going there, hated seeing what had become of that life that had once held so much promise...hated knowing that it was, at least in part, his fault.

"I brought you some more of those snacks you like..." he muttered conversationally as he pulled said items out of the black canvas bag.

He didn't bother turning his head to see what Matt was up to as he was probably the same as always, sitting upright in that chair and staring ahead blankly.

Mello had left Wammys after Roger had told him L had chosen Near as his successor and he had taken nothing but his rosary with him. That had been his first mistake, Mello supposed.

His second was not contacting anyone after the unidentified body of that teen with blond hair had been found in London a few weeks later; Mello had just needed some space, had thought nothing of the consequences and the person he'd left in that place. The one person he'd promised he would never leave without.

Mello hadn't been able to stay away longer than a few months before he'd missed his friend too much. He had enjoyed the literally shocked expressions as he'd walked right through the front door of the orphanage as though he hadn't been gone at all.

Roger hadn't even reprimanded him and instead looked at him with pity, an expression Mello hated but also couldn't understand being directed at him.

Mello had left but come back, only Matt hadn't been waiting there for him as he'd thought; at least not in the way he had expected...

There had been an accident, at least that's what they had called it, and Matt had been hospitalized. He had apparently fallen asleep in the bathtub and nearly drowned; there were drugs found in his system that suggested the reason why he hadn't woken when his head had slipped under the water. But Mello hadn't been so sure it was an accident. He never said anything though.

The problem, as Mello had found out, was that Matt's brain had been deprived of oxygen for too long; the doctors said that while he wasn't quite in a vegetative state, there was little hope of him regaining normal mental capacity.

It had taken two long years to get him to the state he was currently in, and that didn't include speech or the ability to do much else besides feed himself. Apparently even something that small was excellent progress.

Mello remembered the early days, after he'd gotten back, he had placed Matt's goggles on him but when Matt hadn't so much as twitched with them added the doctors had taken them away simply as a precaution and Mello hadn't seen them since. Matt had always made a fuss without them, but he had simply stared on ahead, unfocused eyes unblinking. Mello had still been in denial then.

Mello visited him twice a week ever since for the last two years, never once missing a scheduled day if he could help it. He had permanently moved out of Wammys, staying somewhere close just for Matt.

But his current visit was different, and he hated himself for it. He had put it off to long, clinging to a hope, an ideal, that was dead. Yeah, the small things were progress for someone of Matt's condition, but it was killing Mello to watch the redhead as he was whilst still remembering who he used to be.

He just... couldn't do it anymore.

Mello had been watching Matt, like he always did when he visited, and finally decided it was enough and stood, dragging the chair he'd been seated in over in front of the redhead. He hesitated but eventually sat in front of him.

His hand shook slightly and continued to tremble as his fingers touched Matt's cool cheek. Mello remembered when he had first done that, all those years ago, how Matt's eyes had swiveled up to meet his with a wide eyed expression as he kissed him.

But there was no reaction, not even when he had unconsciously begun to caress the smooth skin. He'd done it a million times before... but Mello had wanted some sort of reaction, anything, to make him change his decision. But there was nothing.

Matt wasn't really there anymore, hadn't been for years.

Mello bit his lip and forced his mouth to form a smile he didn't feel as a few tears finally slid free. He swallowed the lump in his throat and stood shakily. His chest hurt, like a thousand needles stabbing him, and he just couldn't...

"Bye Matty..." he whispered with a harsh expelling of breath. It was always 'see you later', or 'I'll be back soon'... but it really was goodbye. He left his bag on the table, with things he'd been keeping for Matt, and practically stumbled through the door, letting it close behind him.

Unseen to Mello, a solitary tear slipped down Matt's cheek.

_-End-_

**AN: **So, thoughts? I swear I'm getting all my good ideas while typing on my ipod lately XD

Review please?


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